Alicia, 19 years old -ACL rupture, operation and recovery

by Alicia Lawson
(Elgin, Scotland)

I am a Scottish 19 year old who is in the middle of a rather long and varied ACL journey. I damaged my ACL whilst working in a French ski resort as a chalet girl in March 2009. I was racing in a rally when I fell at speed. My right ski didn't release and my knee twisted and the ligament ruptured. Initially I was in a lot of pain but no more so than the numerous other skiing accidents I have had and so when the pain subsided I got up and tried to walk back up the hill to retrieve my skis. My knee then completely collapsed and so we called the ski patrol and they took me off the mountain in a blood wagon.
In the hospital they told me that my 50% of my medial had torn and that my ACL had snapped. The worst bit at this point was seeing my lower leg come practically out of my knee. The current guests in my chalet were English doctors and all had a go on my knee deciding it was my ACL. I was flown home a couple of days later. On the plus side I had these brilliant crutches that they give you in ski resorts which have crampons on the end, which everyone at home thought highly impressive!
I had an MRI scan after waiting 6 weeks and the results said that I only had a Grade 2 tear in the ACL. I went home feeling a little bemused but happy that I wouldn't have an operation. I carried on with the physio and began to run and do everything normal again. However, my knee kept collapsing and one day I was playing with my dog in the garden and my knee completely collapsed with a huge snap and a crunching sound, it was extremely painful, much more so that when I had the initial accident and I couldn't move for about half an hour. I told the physio this the next week and she said surprisingly that nothing was wrong. I kept badgering her and she kept saying nothing was wrong, the swelling and pain went down again and I was back running in a few weeks. In August I went back to the surgeon saying that things were not all well. He gave my knee a tug and said that yes, there was no ACL left in there and I would have to have the operation. I was incredibly frustrated and angry with the whole NHS system. He said that it hadn't shown on the MRI because the rupture was right where the ligament joined the bone and my second fall had shattered any remaining ligament and hurt the patella. I tried to play some field hockey but everytime, no matter how much strapping I put on it my knee would collapse and dislocate.
My operation was in mid November, a full 8 months after the initial accident. I wasn't nervous about the operation, I just couldn't wait to finally be able to heal my knee. I was anxious as I was waiting for the anaesthetic but the nurses were very kind. There was a large audience as it was with brand new equipment hired especially for my op from Glasgow. It all went well and I saw the photographs of the inside of my knee, all that was left of my ACL were a few sad tufts of ligament! Waking up from the anaesthetic was incredibly surreal, I was shivering uncontrollably and they put this massive blow-pipe of hot air into my bed, I couldn't make my mouth move to talk and kept drifting in and out of sleep. When I woke again I was back in the ward. I can honestly say that my knee was not that sore after the op. It had a dull persistent ache which was I was able to control by my morphine drip. The worst thing was the helplessness, I had to be carried onto a portable toilet and everytime I sat up I was sick because of the morphine. The physios came into the ward the next morning, immediately getting my leg moving and the muscles tightening. I couldn't do any of the walking exercises because I kept being sick! It was quite a funny scene, me on my crutches learning to do stairs with the physio beside me and the nurse behind with a sick bowl! I had my bandage removed and the dressings changed and was sent home that evening-the day after the op.
I diligently did my exercises but was scared by how much the leg had wasted so dumped the crutches about 5 days after the op and removed the leg brace a couple of days later. I am now 9 weeks post op and walking, cycling, and on the rowing and cross-trainer machines.
I know there is a long journey ahead for me but want to give hope to everyone who is going through ACL trouble. Do not be afraid to have the operation, it is nowhere near as painful as the accident which caused the injury and worth it to get back to doing all the things everyone else considers part of everyday life. Also trust your instincts and what your body is telling you, I knew my knee wasn't right even though the physio thought it was, though to be honest, I am not sure if she even knows which body part the cruciate ligament is in.