open reduction internal fixation right ankle

by grant Jordan
(miami,fl)

19th FEB

19th FEB

I work for parks and recreation / we offer tours IE: kayaking, canoeing, biking, backpacking, camping, ect. so needless to say I am into a lot of outdoor sports!

4 months ago I was involved in a motorcycle accident that left me with a severe, open fracture to my right ankle, both bones came out tearing through ligaments, tendons, soft tissue, muscle, basically ripping my foot half way off.

i went through what was called an open reduction / internal fixation meaning they put a plate with 8 screws on the right side, and 1 screw on the left. my cast was taken off on the 19th (feb)
I was then sent back to the emergency room for what they thought was an infection for 5 more days. I started therapy 2 weeks ago, and am finding it more difficult then I imagined.

the reason being is that my foot healed in the prone position, instead of the neutral position,
every time i go into therapy they bend my foot back (very painfull) to get the range of motion back. i understand why and i am ok with that, but the problem is, is that i was getting better and the doctor had cleared me for full weight bearing, i could put some weight on it before, the last therapy, but this time she really pushed it, and i heard something pop! and now my foot is back to the black and blue stage where it was 2 months earlier, and now cant put any weight on it at all.

Is this normal? And does it get better? And should I think about orthoscopic scar tissue removal?

Any help would be greatly appreciated.


thank you,
grant

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open reduction internal fixation right ankle

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Jun 10, 2009
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Yikes NEW
by: Anonymous

I fractured my fibula and tore a bunch of ligaments near my ankle playing soccer a week ago, It's been exactly one week since the surgery. (open reduction internal fixation) and i have a plate with 8 screws in there too. It's been the most depressing week of my life!
Recovery seems too slow and I'm getting desperate here!
But your case seems a lot worse than mine. I have so much sympathy for everyone that has ever gone through this. no one knows our pain.

Jun 10, 2009
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REPLY NEW
by: Grant Jordan.

that is so true, untill they go through it, no one has the right to comment on how little your injury is. i have had the comments, from diffrent people, saying " oh it doesnt look soo bad" or "ive seen worse"

just hang in there, it does get better, stick with therapy, it does work. and through time, there is less pain.

i know its hard, but try to move it much as possible, dont let the scar tissue build up in there!

Oct 03, 2009
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I feel the pain NEW
by: Aron

I was riding a bike(regular bike)when the seat broke off. I fell down and twisted my ankle. I fractured my fibula and tore a ligament in my ankle. NO ONE knows what its like. Its depressing, its sad, its scary. I fractured my ankle when I was 11 and don't remember it being as nearly this depressing. I am so sad every day but have to go on. I'm 20 and turn 21 in four months, I dance, I love to dance and I attend as well as teach hip hop choreography. To know that I will not be able to fully be able to dance how I use to until 18 months is saddening for me. Who ever has to go through this, the surgery, the therapy, the pain, I'm with you and you have my prayers.

Jan 15, 2010
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open reduction internal fixation right ankle NEW
by: Anonymous

I had a very simialr motorcycle accident (July 2008) and about the same identical injury to my left foot. Yes, it almost took the foot off. My foot healed in the correct position, I went through months of physical therapy and worked very hard on my own to get back to something close to normal. Work hard. The pain will subside, but may never go completely away. I am doing things today that my therapists - any myself - never thought I could. I run, workout, and we walk A LOT since this accident. It seems to help. Do not give up, and remember to work at this even after PT. It will only improve if you do. Having been there, I wish you the very best.

May 25, 2010
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I feel your pain NEW
by: Anonymous

In April I was walking down my steps in a pair of flip flops when one of them broke. I fell down the steps but the broken flop got caught on the stair pulling my foot up behind me. This resulted in a broken ankle. I broke both sides of my ankle, dislocated it, and split my fibula about 2inches up. I had the same surgery May 3rd, a plate with 8 screws on the outside & 2 screws on the inside. That is seriously the most painful surgery I've ever had. I was doing good at putting some weight on it, but I had to get a new cast yesterday and after all the movement, I'm back to not being able to put hardly any weight on it. It's those kind of set backs that are so discouraging. And the healing process is so slow. I hope you get better soon, because this sucks!

Jun 29, 2010
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In the same boat......... NEW
by: Anonymous

Hi their a week ago I "missed" a step and fell on my ankle. I too went in for open reduction internal fixation surgery of my left ankle. I am thankful to hear their are others going through what I am. I have never felt so discomfort or pain in my life. I am finding it hard to stay upbeat and was happy to find a site where their are others going through the same thing I am. Its impossible to be comfortable and sleep is almost non existent. Can anyone tell me how long I am in the non weight bearing cast? At what point does physio therapy begin? When does the pain and discomfort start to subside? Any info would be great as alot of sites dont go into alot of detail.

Jul 13, 2010
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surgery blows but its faster than u think NEW
by: Anonymous

I have a plate and 7 screws in my ankle. I almost already have full mobility back and i have only had a walkin boot for about 2 and a half weeks. I think ur recovery time depends on ur age i am 18 i will heal faster than a 45 year old bc my body is growin anyways. But i do agree after surgery i went crazyyy!!! But the doctor was very impressed by how much the swelling had gone down. A loose cast is a good sign bc that means the swelling is going down and u will be done with everything in no time i broke mine may 7 and now its august 13 i go back today to figure out how much longer i have my boot on for. But best of luck to everyone. and if u can avoid breakin ur ankle trust me avoid it..

Sep 20, 2010
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broken ankle NEW
by: Anonymous

I came off a horse in july and now have a plate and 8 screws in my ankle. i am close to having full movement in the ankle and have been in my walking boot for a week. but where i shattered bone, i have been told that this has still not re grown, but to partially weight bear. would love some real answers as i have a physical job that i am desperate to get back to. as well as wanting to get back on my horse

Dec 20, 2010
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It's a journey NEW
by: Anonymous

Broke both the fib and the tib in August the bone came through the skin. I then had the 4 hr open reduction surgery awake because I was also 9 months pregnant! The doctor implanted the plate with 8 screws and the two screws on the side.
I went through some massive bouts of depression. The pain killers and other meds they prescribe just add to this! So I made it my job to get off them. Not only for myself, but for my little one born just two weeks after.
It's now December and it still hurts everyday! However, I recommend using it as much as you can once the doctor clears you for weight baring. Do all the physical therapy you can and do those exercises, trace the alphabet with your foot everyday I challenge myself, but I don't over do it. PT says it will be sore, well extra sore since it's already hurting, but not so bad that it continues 24 hrs after PT.
I can almost walk perfect, sometimes I have a slight limp, walking down stairs is still a challenge and I'm working on balance. It's not easy, but don't give up!! Good luck everyone!

Dec 20, 2010
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thanks ! NEW
by: grant Jordan.

thank you all for all your comments, im sorry i haven't posted in a while , since the injury i have been , laid off or " forced to resign" because of my injury, ( which sucks ) !, i have gone to the EEOC, and fair trade employment practices,
but to no avail, now im without insurance, and i don't know what im going to do, i cannot fulfill my duties in my job anymore because of my DISABILITY, so therefore they have made me resign , in order to keep in good standing with the dept. ( it's very complicated).

All i know is please, whoever you are that is going through the same thing that i am, please tell me, i have a lot of info on the matter, and can help you, right now," MY ONLY GOAL IS TO HELP OTHERS IN MY SITUATION, " so please contact me via my email address at gjordan305@aol.com. i will be here to help you, i don't want anything, no money, no information, no anything, my only goal is is to help out,the same people that have gone through the same thing what i have, and have been discriminated against like i have . Im am not a lawyer or an EEOC ADVOCATE , but i know a lot on the matter of discrimination and on personal disabilities , so, if you have gone through the same injury, and have a lot of questions, not only legal, but what im in for next, (MEANING YOU HAVE JUST GONE THROUGH SURGEY AND HAVE A SERIOUS CONDITION WITH YOUR ANKLE OR FOOT?) then please write to me ,
thank you,
Grant m Jordan.

I AM HERE TO HELP !

Jan 23, 2011
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Replying to Grant Jordan NEW
by: Gene

I also have been 'asked' to resign. I had the ORIF surgery on Nov 15 for a tri break of my left ankle. I have not worked long enough at the company to collect disability or if I resign- unemployment.
I even received a rude phone call reminding that the company spent a lot of money training me.
Believe me, I would much rather be working than healing from this broken ankle.........

Jan 23, 2011
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unemployed? NEW
by: Grant Jordan

to all that have been unemployed due to your injury,
Well i have now been officially unemployed now for 3 months, and receiving disability compensation, i have applied for food stamps, and barley getting by, due to my injury which has kept me from accepting just any job that has come down the road.
i am now looking for a sedentary job, which i can perform, and would get me off the "welfare" i do not want to be in this status, nor do i want to be a person that is reliant on the government for help. but it is hard to find a job that is a "desk" job after your whole life has been one that is physical in nature. i am looking and updating my resume to highlight the office type of work that i have done, and with any luck will succeed in finding work for people with a disability like i have.
but enough about me and my problems, LOL, i hope that all who is going through an injury like this will overcome and excell, and find a new way of life in whatever you have done in the past , if you cannot do what you did before. my thoughts and prayers, and understanding are with you.
Grant.

Jan 24, 2011
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open reduction, internal fixation surgery NEW
by: Anonymous

This is to Grant regarding unemployment and disability. What state are you in? I have had the exact same surgery as you had and the state of Missouri will do absolutely nothing for me except for food stamps. Please let me know. It looks like we had the same injury about the same time and recovery about the same as well. I'm older than you, however. Please comment. Thanks

Jan 24, 2011
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open reduction, internal fixation surgery NEW
by: Anonymous

This is to Grant regarding unemployment and disability. What state are you in? I have had the exact same surgery as you had and the state of Missouri will do absolutely nothing for me except for food stamps. Please let me know. It looks like we had the same injury about the same time and recovery about the same as well. I'm older than you, however. Please comment. Thanks

Jan 24, 2011
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to :Anonymous NEW
by: grant Jordan

i live in Miami, FL. and i had really good INS, through Miami-Dade County Parks and Recreation. i worked there for 6 years, and was vested, thats how i can get long term DIs INS
I am very lucky, and thankful, to have had that.

Feb 08, 2011
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More pain now than before??/ NEW
by: Anonymous

I fractured the fib/tib/talus and had ORIF on 1/15/11. Spent 2 weeks in a "floating" cast and now another week and half or so in the hard cast. I spend most of my time laying down with my "toes above my nose" as instructed. I hate the narcotics like percocet & vicodan and have gone to tylenol 3 with codeine and advil for pain management. It seems to work fairly well and the pain is bearable (for the most part) during the day, but for the past 3 nights I have woke up in incredible pain (the most I have experienced throughout the process)to the point of tears. Is this normal at this stage of the game? And, how long can I expect to be a non-productive member of society?
I would really like to keep my job, but I am not able to perform MOST of the requirements of the job......my co-workers have been fantastic about covering my shifts, but not sure how long that will last. I have no disability insurance and my husband makes too much for us to get any help with the loss of my income. Rambling now.......
It would be great to get some input from some who have been through it!

Feb 08, 2011
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reply NEW
by: Grant Jordan

To :More pain now than before??/

your going to be out of service for quite a while, not knowing if your weight bearing or not and if you started therapy , and how your progressing all depends on how fast you can recover.
i was out for aprox 6 months, then again for another 3 months after the second surgery, but everybody is different.

i too could no longer perform my job functions at work and was asked to resign in good standing, so that if something did come up that i could do i would be rehired.
but now i am receiving LT disability INS, plus unemployment payments, and am required to look for 30 jobs every two weeks that are documented and sent in in order to continue receiving money. i hope this helps, Good Luck !

Feb 17, 2011
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Husband has same injury NEW
by: Anonymous

My husband had a similar injury on October 3, 2010. Compound fracture with leg broken in 8 places. He has a plate and 14 screws that will remain in his lower leg. He ended up having 3 surgeries and has been in PT ever since. He is back working and has a physical job that requires a lot of walking up and down rough terrain. He is very determined but the stiffness is about to get the best of him. It has been 4 and 1/2 months since his injury. If anyone knows anything that would help the stiffness in that joint please help.

Feb 17, 2011
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Husband has same injury NEW
by: Grant Jordan

i hope the best for your husband, it sounds like he has a tough job. What does he do for a living?

all i can tell you is that it will only get worse due to the fact that he has SCAR TISSUE, built up in that area, and the more he inflates it, the more pain he will be in.

i was in the same situation, i too had a job that required alot of walking up and down hills and rough terrain, not to mention jumping off tractor trailers.

not good!

Feb 21, 2011
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Ankle Fracture NEW
by: Anonymous

I was in a car accident and suffered an open ankle fracture. I had external/interal fixation for almost 8 weeks. I lost all the cartledge in my ankle and I was told that I was going to have a stiff walk. I have plates and screws in my ankle I wore a cast for about 2 weeks and after the cast came off, I was put in a boot. I am now doing physical therapy and I don't want to rush it because I am afraid something will mess up. I just want to be able to have a normal walk. This was this worst thing I have ever had to deal with and I don't wish this on anybody. I pray that everything heals ok and I am able to live normal. To everyone that is suffering with this type of injury or any type of ankle/leg fracture. I wish you luck and pray everything works out for you.

Feb 22, 2011
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open reduction/deltoid ligament NEW
by: Jimbo

Broke my fibula and tore the deltoid lig on 1/24/11. 1 plate,13 screws and a full leg cast to the groin. Cast comes off tomorrow and replaced with a knee high fiberglass cast. Can anyone tell me what the short term looks like? Thanks!

Feb 22, 2011
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reply, to Jimbo, and anonymous NEW
by: grant Jordan

What can i say? ive been through the same thing, i hoped that i helped, giving words of encouragement, to others, that have gone through the same thing, to anonymous, i hope that you will recover, the same as Jimbo, ive been there done that, all i can say is that after my surgery , and after, 6 months of REHAB, I could stand and walk, but dont be fooled, it took alot of pain, and determination, to get through it, but please to both of you, GO THROUGH IT !, its worth it in the end, yes its painful, and yes its annoying, having to keep your appointments, cause you're not looking forward to them, but you have got through the worst, your still alive!,
and breathing, and, can still contribute to society, even though your "limp" may be permanent, like mine is, it doesn't matter, cause you made it through, and can still function.
please, if i can be of help and can give emotional support, i am here, i know what your going through, and would like to help, im not religious, nor do i want money, i am here because, of my accident, and the people that share the same thing!, please contact me at gjordan

Feb 23, 2011
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Bone stimulator NEW
by: Anonymous

I posted recently about my husbands injury. He has been using a bone stimulator for about 3 months daily. He has some pretty large non unions in one of the bones in his lower leg underneath the plate. Has anyone else had experience with these stimulators. The last time we were at the doc there was some shading starting to show up in that area, but the bone growth seems so slow. He is full weight bearing and the doc says it may take a year for that bone to develop. Just wondering if anyone else is trying this type of therapy as well.

Mar 05, 2011
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I feel your pain!!! NEW
by: Retired Marine

I broke my ankle in 2 spots (tib & fib) during combat training. A plate with 6 screws were placed in surgically. I was bed rested for 3wks and it was painful. Had therapy sessions shortly after & that sucked as well. Thankfully I was walking somewhat normal 5mths later. Now 2yrs down the road one of the screws decided to shift pinching a nerve on top of foot. I just had another surgery last week & all hardware was taking out. As of right now I'm bed rested for 2wks & the major pain I'm dealing with is the actual incision itself(surgeons had to cut directly over last scar). This time around the cut hurts & feels like constant bee stings. Im starting to walk with my crutches & I believe I'll be on my own in a few days here. Note to my fellow friends with similar problems, stay strong it can get better if you yourself just try. Don't baby it, tell yourself you will get better.

Mar 20, 2011
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Manhattan NEW
by: Anonymous

No good story here. Manhattan did me dirty with a good ice storm on a business trip 2/2/11. The ER said I'd need an aircast, so ORIF was a shocker. Surgery was 2/24/11 leaving me with a plate in the fib along with 5 screw & 1 in the tib. I'm 3 weeks out from surgery & go back in 3 weeks to find out if I'll move forward to a weight bearing cast. When do I expect to be "normal"? My job is usually an 8hr shift on my feet non-stop, overtime some days. Some posts mention short recovery, others longer. Now is usually the time I spend bouncing back into shape from the holidays for summer and I'm couch bound instead. =[

Mar 20, 2011
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RE: Manhattan NEW
by: Grant Jordan

you can expect about 8-12 weeks depending, on how you recover, everybody is different, if you read my post comments , you'll know what ive been through , you might be different, and recover alot sooner, it all depends on your therapy, and body.
i feel your pain, trust me its not easy, there are times where i wanted to give up, and other times where i said, i will beat this ! , for me it was very painful, because of the scar tissue that they "the rehab" people had to break threw, but in the end it helped me . i wish you the best of luck, and if i could say anything, it would be stick to it, no matter how bad the pain is, no matter, how you dread it, it pays off in the end.

please feel free to write, any time, im here and can help.

Grant Jordan.

Mar 21, 2011
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Graduated to 1 crutch! NEW
by: Brenda

Hello, just thought I would update my progress to date. For a little background, I am 47 and have a very physical part time job loading airplanes. I have not been able to return to work since my break/surgery on the 15th of January. It has been a very long couple months!

I had surgery within a couple of hours of breaking the fib/tib/talus. I spent 1 night in the hospital and came home on the 16th with a "floating" hard cast. After 2 weeks with that they removed it, x-rayed it and put a hard cast on, which I wore for another 4 weeks.......so 6 weeks NO weight bearing at all. They the fitted me for an air cast which I have been wearing for 3 weeks and have another 5 days to go before another check-up. I am now able to walk (very slowly and a little wobbly) with only one crutch. I am hoping that by the time I go to the doctor on Friday I am able walk without the boot! I can tell you that it is painful to start doing ROM and walking exercises, but you have to push through it in order to regain your range of motion and strength. I have not done any "formal" PT. The surgeon told me when I got the air boot that depending on how I do with my own PT there may or may NOT be a need for PT....I guess time will tell.
Keep your chin (and your foot) up!
Brenda

Apr 03, 2011
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Reply to Grant NEW
by: Lucinda

I broke the fibula and the tibia Dec 29th. I was told no weight bearing and I am a salesperson. I walk territories. Since the injury I could not work
and my land lady was nice enough to let me stay without paying rent. I still owe her and working on that. I tried calling places that help with the rent but no avail. I now sell Krispy Kreme doughnuts on Thursday, Friday, and Saturdays. I don't have to do a lot of walking as I am now in a boot. I ride public transportation so most of the time people see and buy. I am in school online getting my PHD in IT. The pell grant helps out a lot. I also do now Prepaid Legal. Its hard to get income when you don't have anybody to help you and the company is being a bitch. I suggest starting your own business and work from home. The pain people like us are going through is enough without being discriminated against.
I'm slow getting customers but I'm out there trying because so many people won't help or they can't help you. I suggest again to find something you like to do as a hobby and turn it into a cash cow or business. The government will give you money to start a business also. Funny how you get smarter when you become disabled.
Does the stinging mean it's healing? I move around a lot cause being at home give's me cabin fever. I feel the pain everyone is going through. I did'nt have to have the surgery but I was close.
Still I am 57 years and the bones are taking a long time to heal. I just came out of the cast 2 weeks ago. I hope this comment helps somebody. Welfare only gives just a bit and it's not enough. I barely get by but I'm working on it and I will succeed and so will you.

Apr 03, 2011
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Reply to Brenda NEW
by: Lucinda

I fell and broke my ankle Dec 29,2010,I was put in cast Jan 3 2011. I stay off foot for 4 weeks and I was put into another cast Jan 23 with a shoe on it. I was up and walking with 1 crutch after that. I just came out of cast last week in March and now I have a boot. I have not gone to PT and the Doc says its healing very good. I am 57 yrs and was told it will be a long time healing. Congratulations on getting to one crutch. Its a journey getting there. Much love and encouragement to others that have goned through something like this. You don't have to have the surgery but just being immobile when you are used to being on your feet and the pain you have to go through is awful.

Apr 05, 2011
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please share NEW
by: Anonymous

hi, im 18yrs old. i met with an accident on the 9th of february,2011. A local taxi ran over my anlke and on reaching the hospital and x-ray, doc said i had bimalleolar fracture of my right ankle. they did ORIF and im not allowed to put pressure now for 2 months. but im really concerned if i wouln't be able to walk normally again without limping and will i be able to wear heels again? please if you you have any idea, please share with me. il be very grateful to you.

Apr 19, 2011
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False Alarm NEW
by: Paula

I live on a sailboat 80% of the time, and I unfortunately hit some ice and fell on the boat ramp on Dec 10, 2010. I fractured my fibula only, but it was completely in two pieces. It seemed to be lined up well, so the Ortho thought it would probably fill in on its own. I started in the ?walking boot with crutches. I worked at it until I could use one crutch, and than a cane. He put me in a soft lace up brace at 4 weeks, and I went back to work at 5 weeks (sedendary job). Wow! I thought things were moving along ok. I love to work out and he had allowed me to go to the gym and use the bike, and then the eliptical machine. This helped a lot with my mood about the ordeal. Each time I was xrayed, the bone growth was not improving. I had a CT on March 19th that revealed a non-union fracture of the fibula. I still wasn't told I had to have the surgery, but declided with my living situation and active lifestyle, it needed to be fixed. The likelihood of a worse situation if I were to injure it again, was motivating to fix it. So now I am back out of work, and in week two of being off my foot again. I feel like I started all over again. I'm nervous about pushing the recovery too quick because I wonder if I pushed too quick to get back at it. I guess misery does love company, but I is nice to feel like I'm not the only one out here. I work for physicians, and I have so many times about this "little bone" I broke. I want to say "Have you ever broke yours? Its not a lot of fun". Best of luck to everyone, and I am so sorry to those of you that have had such long recoveries. Its very difficult not to be able to do what we want and need to do.

May 02, 2011
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Also Lost My Job NEW
by: Julie

Hi, I was reading through and was at least comforted that I am not alone in my forced unemployment. On 9/8/10, I was knocked down by my neighbor's dog tie out rope, and broke my ankle, fibula, tibula, complete dislocation. I was at that time only part time employed, with no insurance, so I was a basket case when I found I had to have surgery. I was non weight bering for 3 full months, then partial weight bearing. My paid time off ran out after the 3 months ended, and I was taken back to my job, but not in my department, from 1/12/11, to 2/5/11, after which my doctor cleared me to return, but with some restrictions. They opted to let me go. I have filed a complaint with the EEOC, but I don't know anything yet. I know I could do my job with just a bit of consideration, and am angry that I am now barely hanging on financially. I am behind in my lot rent and praying I won'b be evicted. I am still having some swelling, not a lot of pain, and some stiffness, but otherwise am willing to be at work. It is awful, and I am 53, so jobs are hard to find at this age.

May 03, 2011
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JULIE,, NEW
by: grant Jordan

Well, Julie, that sounds like me, i dont know if you had read my previous comments or not but, i worked for Miami-Dade County, and they did the same thing to me, when i went to return to my "desk" job, they had informed me that they were transferring me to an outside labor job that consisted of alot of walking, jumping on and off of heavy equipment, running heavy equipment, and lifting and carrying heavy loads outside in 100 degree heat, (here in Fl) , i did try and attempt my new job, but could not perform as expected due to my accident. so under a doctors care i was put out of work again untill my ankle was healed again, by this time my FMLA leave time had run out and they told me to resign peacefully or be fired. i too went to the EEOC, and filed a complaint, but never submitted it due to the promise of the county that if there was a job that they could find for me i would be hired again for that position. so i did not want to "rock the boat" so to speak. but am now realizing that i should have filed, and also gotten a lawyer. i am still thinking of doing that, but dont know if it is too late now or not?
Good luck to you, and if you know of any info, please let me know, Thank You, Grant.

May 03, 2011
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Reply to Grant (EEOC) NEW
by: Julie

Grant, I would check with them. I waited two months, and should have filed right away, but it wouldn't hurt to try. You might also see if there are any pro bono lawyers that might fight for you. Here in this little burg we don't seem to have such people, but in Florida there might be. I feel for you, for all of us. I had such deep depression when I was first injured. I was a person who used to walk daily 4 to 6 miles a day, and I feel like a part of me is gone I will never get back. Hang in there too, and thanks for the reply.

Jan 18, 2012
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11 years ago NEW
by: Mary

Hello to all. broke my ankle 12/2000. Went from the ground at work to the operating room table. ORIF consisting of a plate 5 screws and a pin. I am a therapist and now walk by hip hiking just to get from point A to point B. Still have the stiffness and now I have pain in the hip of the fx ankle. I know that the hip hiking is bad and that is part of the reason for the hip pain. I still work as a therapist but no more 40 hrs or plus. I still lean up against walls when the pain comes. Unfortunately I dont know that the pain is there until my foot hits the floor and I am bearing wt to take the next step. I just keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep going. I hope and pray that no one suffers with this as long as I have.


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